Wednesday 25 January 2012

More Humour......

....in view of my preceding post, one in the same vein. Previously posted nearly three years ago, although probably guaranteed to upset the ladies, it is a small piece that Mary Archer wrote for what was a Rag Week magazine, I believe.


The Fair Sex.


Element: Woman

Symbol: Wo

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg

Occurrence: Found in large quantities in urban areas, with trace elements in outlying areas

Physical Properties: Boils at absolutely nothing, freezes for no apparent reason, melts if given special treatment, bitter if used incorrectly

Chemical Properties: Affinity to Gold, Silver, Platinum and all precious stones. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common Use: Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. Can be a very effective cleaning agent

Hazards: Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That post WfW is going to lead to a whole world of pain for you - and though I allowed myself a very crafty loud guffaw I am staying out of it.
In physical properties - I might add; 'corrosive if scorned'.

WitteringsfromWitney said...

Anon: Glutton for punishement RUs......

Anonymous said...

;-)

TomTom said...

Like a cat....can scratch....or purr

WitteringsfromWitney said...

TT: True to their feline genes then?