Monday 21 November 2011

Why 'government' costs so much.........

From Fausty's comments:

"Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of nowhere. Parliament said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Parliament said, "How does the night watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.


Then Parliament asked, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.


Then Parliament said, "How are these people going to get paid and administered?" So they created the following positions, two time keepers and three payroll officers, and then hired four human resources consultants and five health and safety executives.


Then Parliament said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired fifty people including administrative officers, assistant administrative officers, legal secretaries and a chief executive on £250,000 per annum.


Then Parliament said, "We have had this in operation for over one year and we are £25,000,000 over budget, we must cutback the overall cost."


So they laid off the night watchman.
"
To which my comment - which appears to have been lost in the ether - was that 'we' allowed it to happen.

There is a better way people! More of which later - at the weekend........

5 comments:

English Pensioner said...

Basically how our District Council appears to work. They send a man in a posh car to look at a pot hole in the road, in due course white marks appear around it (I didn't see this, but is wasn't the man in the posh car). Two months later the marks have worn away, but presumably the pot hole repairer has bee laid off.

Anonymous said...

The night watchman story is so apt. Sadly it is exactly how all governments set about " cutting out waste" They end up getting rid of the few people who are actually doing a worthwhile job.

On a macro economic scale we now hear that Dave is worried that we are not getting the PSBR down quick enough. Would it ever cross the dim witted mans brain that if he hadn't showered Billions at the EU, the IMF and Foreign aid, we would be ahead of the game in reducing our deficit.

WitteringsfromWitney said...

EP: Seems that's how all of government work........

Anon: Couldn't agree more.......

PeterCharles said...

No, no that is definitely being unfair to parliament. The word Parliament should be replaced with civil service/quango/commission or whatever in all verses except the first and the last. Then it would be a true reflection of reality. To make reality plainer, and more accurate again, a line such as: "And parliament didn't notice." should be added to all the other verses.

Venality and stupidity of the political class is the source of most of our problems but it is the government bureaucracy that causes the real pain. Something that needs to be remembered when we have done eliminating politicians.

Anonymous said...

The Night Watchman tale is slightly out of date. Now you must include a course on Diversity Training Days, Gay Awareness Seminars and appoint a consultancy to oversee Gender Equality Issues.

Other than that, spot on.