Alone and lonely

Yesterday Frances Coppola produced a very thought-provoking post entitled 'Loneliness', one in which she suggested that being alone does not necessarily mean being lonely - when in fact it can and does, a point that in the ensuing exchange of views on Twitter appeared to escape the notice of those tweeting.

When someone has lived on their own for a number of years it becomes increasingly difficult to entertain the notion of sharing your life and 'space' with another because, as a result of living alone, I believe one tends to become 'selfish' in that it is possible to resent the loss of an ability to do what you want, when you want. This then leads to an 'inner conflict', one in which the ability to please oneself fights with the wish to have someone with whom to talk, someone with whom to share the pleasures of life on a daily basis.

On the emotional front similar conflicts can occur as a result of ones experience of the life lived so far. Let us assume a hypothetical situation, one in which someone has been 'hurt' twice (by 'hurt' it is meant that one has 'suffered' infidelity) Taking this scenario further, let us assume that an element of cynicism understandably enters ones reasoning, in that should someone declare undying love for you the first reaction on your part is: 'do you?'.

As one becomes older the future becomes even more and more uncertain when the matter of lifespan enters the equation, in view of which the question then arises whether you have the right to cause the other person the grief which presumably they will feel should you die after only a year or two of 'togetherness'. Conflicting with that is the opposing problem that all one wishes for is company, both physical and emotional. All in all, an insurmountable quandary methinks.

One can have all the books, music, 'interests' and family possible, however it does not negate the fact that one can still be 'alone' and 'lonely'.

Just saying..........


Afterthought: Consider a recently bereaved person, age immaterial, I wager they feel alone and lonely on a daily basis. Consider the single severely disabled, I wager they too feel alone and lonely on a daily basis.